Sunday, December 5, 2010
I am DISCUSTING
I HATE IT I HATE MYSELF
I think to myself I want to be 115 again and then I remember I hated 115 to because I was "too fat" so now I don't even know how I can live with 126 pounds it makes me SICK. I'm huge and discusting I don't know how anyone can even look at me.
Today I ate fucking oatmeal 157 cals ! DISCUSTING
I was going to eat this tv dinner pasta thing and was like omg what are you doing and threw it out my window into the snow.
I don't ever want to eat again.
It better be a snowday tomorrow but obviously it won't because why would it be...
I want to cut the fat off my body
its making me so upset I was even being mean to my boyfriend who is so fusterated with me because I can't give him a straight answer to "whats wrong"
me + me = I want to die
I was thinking about diet pills I could buy off the shelf..thoughts?