Sunday, January 9, 2011

In my dreams

Firstly, I handed in that report about my childhood, I wrote about daycare and that was it.
The comedy was hilarious and its nice to be able to go out and laugh, forget about all the shit and crap and just laugh so hard your face hurts.
Super super sad, my belly dancing classes where canceled!!! now I think I'm going to try and sign up for Ariel yoga, its like the circus people on those cloth ropes!! I really want to try it.
I spent alot of time last night trying to explain to my boyfriend why I cut, but obviously he can't understand and then he tried the if you do it I'll do it aproach I cried so hard trying to explain that it just doesn't work that way and finally got him to promise me not to do. I've been cutting for so long I've never truly learnt other ways to channel my emotions and it just feels so apart of me.
Coming to the main point of this blog now, dreams. I have so many dreams of someone coming to saving my from this home this life this disease its rediculis. Last night I dreamt someone who doesn't know of my cutting that I hold close to me saw them and wanted to help. I know its probably my body screaming out for help but I just can't do it. I think about getting better but I can't see who I would be after getting help. I've always been damaged.

1 comment:

  1. Kudos on being able to do something that involves being detached from the ground, I couldn't do ariel yoga. And as the cutting goes, it's hard for people to understand what you're going through and it's hard for even you to explain. All you have to do is find another way to channel your emotions, it's easy to say but hard to do. but anyways I hope someone saves you one day for your sake.

    xo Chloe