Damaged

No one wants a damaged person, there too much work. No one wants me.
I went to my boyfriends house tonight, felt kind of ignored and just dazed today. I've just eaten so friggen much I'm so fat and ugly. I feel like "oh, you look sad today.." leaves you alone.
Just screaming out for help when no one wants to help you seems useless. If I was super skinny then maybe they could see. May cutting is just one way of saying hey I'm here I'm alive and I have the power.
My own mother can't love me, how can anyone else. especially another mother figure when all I want it "You look sad come here and I'll hug you"
Am I insane?
Am I asking too much?

I just want to be a strong woman. I'm so broken.

P.S - long night of homework ahead and my mother and father are fighting over the phone and I'm what their fighting about among other things then I get all the rath...